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Should We Be Supporting Open Relationships?

Should We Be Supporting Open Relationships?


Ricky Martin Speaks On Monogamy

OH! Alright, well everyone has been raving about American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace, due to all of the buzz surrounding Darren Criss’ bulging body parts, a homosexual serial killer and subsequent…love?...story, and an array of studs that make up the entire cast. All of the ingredients make for a fantastic series that has been groundbreaking – thanks Ryan Murphy! As you may know, Crime Story deals with Gianni Versace’s love life, including the relationship with mega-hunk Ricky Martin’s character, real life partner of the Fashion Icon, Antonio D’Amico. The actual couple shared a love for 15 years, which gives a lead to the two being in an open relationship. Martin recently spoke in favor of open relationships, inspired by his character counterpart.


According to Vulture, Martin tells:

“I want to normalize relationships like this. It’s good for the world; it’s good for me as a gay man with kids. It’s important that we shed some light on power couples like [Gianni Versace and Antonio D’Amico], even though [D’Amico] was quiet and behind the scenes and he was just there supporting his man for 15 years. I also believe there was a level of homophobia going around in his family where he was hiding, even though he says, ‘My relationship was very open and free with Gianni’…"

The level of commitment after 15 years. The level of security between them and trust between them is so solid. We want to normalize another kind of reality for open relationships. And that’s what we’re doing. There’s absolutely nothing wrong. We’re just two very self-secure men that are completely in love with each other, that trust each other to the maximum level, and here we are.”

This brings up the conversation: Are open relationships healthier for gay men? Yes, many of us have a wandering eye – myself included – so, you know, a real relationship may be a bit of a stretch. I mean, come on, in the modern age of social media – all you have to do to be hypnotized by a nude, sculpted body is literally under your thumb. Is it almost impossible to be monogamous anymore? For every sexy guy you see, there are even more in a bar, and an endless amount on the internet for your liking. Dating apps and hook up websites have even made it so easy that you are able to search for your ideal partner by selecting your preferences. Why search for the one when you can have whatever flavor you prefer right now?


Should we be glorifying open relationships? Especially when children are involved? Once we decide to put on wedding rings and exchange vows – is it time to give up our partying ways and sexcapades?  

Or, should we be even judging how someone else runs their family? Do open relationships work for all?


This is the opinion of one of Instinct Magazine's contributing writers. It does not represent the opinion of the magazine. 

Comments

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I have to remind people that marriage is not monogamous in all cultures so if you have a "boyfriend" or a "husband" and you have an open relationship it only waters down the meaning for cultures or religions that only allow for one spouse. 

Just adding in my two cents worth.

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Every relationship is different.  Whatever works for the people involved is what's important.  What we should each focus on is being able to define our needs and communicate those to others...and listen when those others express their needs to us.  And hopefully happiness lies somewhere in that middle.

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I have no problem with people who want one main sexual partner with 19 flavors on the side. But don’t call it a boyfriend, or a husband. That term was created to let other people know that is your man in no one else’s. Which is why cheating only becomes relevant when u have a boyfriend or husband. When open relationships call each other boyfriends and husbands, it waters down the meaning of the term for the people who are capable of focusing on one person, who have discovered their soulmate, and have discovered that sex can be a lot more incredible if u build that connection with one person. Sex It’s not special when everyone can have it. Special; definition: Belonging to a particular person or place.

so if you wanna be a hoe... go for it! But stop mucking up the term boyfriend and husband for the rest of us please. That is not what you are.

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Different Strokes for different folks.

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Monogamy between gay men came into fashion after the AIDS crisis. For some it's perfect, for others it's like trying to copy heterosexual relationships, for which monogamy is based on legitimacy of children

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It’s a decision that has to be made by both individuals in the relationship.  If it is what both seek, then go ahead and be happy.  I have friends in such relationships and although I would only seek a monogamous relationship, I cannot judge another’s happiness. 

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We should support whatever makes that couple happy. There should be no one way for all.

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Agree completely.  There is no ONE way for everybody.  God knows that hetero population didn't set any real role models for anybody in this area!

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My thoughts exactly. For a group that keeps adding letters, we can be very narrow minded at times. You love who you love.

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